The Power of Silence in Customer Conversations

By Kristen Hayer

In customer success, we spend a lot of time honing what we say. We practice our messaging, rehearse tough conversations, and try to strike the right balance between friendly and strategic. But one of the most powerful tools in a customer success professional’s toolkit isn’t something we say at all. It’s silence.

Silence is uncomfortable for a lot of people, especially in business conversations. When there’s a pause, our instinct is to fill it. We jump in to clarify, to smooth things over, to show our value. But sometimes, the most valuable thing we can do is nothing at all.

We Fill Space to Feel in Control

Customer success managers are often the glue between a customer and a company. That role comes with a certain pressure to know the answer, to fix problems, or to create a sense of momentum. In that pressure, silence can feel like failure. A pause might seem like a gap in knowledge or a lack of preparation.

But what we often fail to see is that overfilling the conversation can crowd out the customer. When we rush to fill every quiet moment, we don’t leave space for reflection, honesty, or real connection. Silence feels risky, but constant talking is often riskier.

What Silence Creates

Used with intention, silence does more than make space. It sends a message. First, it signals respect. When we ask a question and pause, we’re giving the customer time to think and not pushing them toward a quick answer. Second, it communicates confidence. Holding a pause shows that we’re not afraid of what might come next and that we trust the conversation. Third, it invites depth. Silence is often where the most valuable insights live. The customer might share something they hadn’t fully formed before. Or they might reveal what’s really going on behind a vague concern.

When and How to Use Silence Intentionally

There are specific moments where silence isn’t just helpful, it’s essential.

• After you ask a strategic question. Give the customer time to think. They may need more than a few seconds to consider their goals or reflect on a process.

• During executive conversations. The more senior your audience, the more they expect space to speak and think. Rushing in can make you seem junior or insecure.

• When delivering tough news. Silence gives the customer time to process before you move to problem-solving.

• During negotiations. After you present your position and interests, let your customer speak into the pause. They may share more than you expect.

• When a customer is emotional or frustrated. Don’t talk over them. Let the silence hold the space for them to calm down or finish their thought.

It is important to note that silence doesn’t mean disengagement. Use body language, eye contact, and nonverbal cues to show you’re still present. If you’re on a call, short affirmations like “I’m thinking about that” or “Take your time” can maintain connection without jumping in too soon.

Avoiding the Pitfalls

Silence can backfire if it comes across as hesitation or confusion. It helps to set expectations. If you’re going to take a moment to think, say so. If you’re pausing after a question, let your customer know you want them to take their time.

Silence also requires cultural and personal sensitivity. Not every customer will respond to a long pause the same way. Know your audience. Use silence with intention, not as a blanket tactic.

Try This on Your Next Call

In your next customer conversation, pick one place to practice intentional silence. Ask a meaningful question and let the answer come without interruption. Count to seven. Resist the urge to explain or soften. Just wait.

Notice what happens. Does the customer say more than they usually do? Do you learn something you wouldn’t have if you jumped in too quickly?

Reclaiming the Power of the Pause

Silence is not the absence of value. It’s a container for it.

In a world where everyone is talking, silence can be your differentiator. It’s how we show respect, create space, and truly listen. And sometimes, it’s the moment in the conversation where the real insight finally has room to appear.

Want to improve your customer communication skills as a CSM? We have a series built just for you! Our CSM Communication course will help you to lead more successful conversations with your customers. For more on this and our other training offerings, visit TheSuccessLeague.io.

Kristen Hayer - Kristen founded The Success League in 2015 and currently serves as the company's CEO. Over the past 25 years Kristen has been a success, sales, and marketing executive, primarily working with scaling tech companies, and leading several award-winning customer success teams. She has written over 100 articles on customer success, and is the host of 3 podcasts about the field. Kristen has served as a judge for the Customer Success Excellence awards, and is on the board of several early-stage tech companies. She received her MBA from the University of Washington in Seattle, and now lives in San Francisco.