Getting Back Into Community
By Kristen Hayer
I’ve had a whirlwind of a week. I spent last Monday and Tuesday in Alexandria, VA with my team, planning for (our amazing!) 2024. Then Wednesday and Thursday hanging out with hundreds of CS professionals at the ChurnZero BigRYG event in Washington, DC. There were dinners, and parties, and networking events, and speaking gigs. After years of hanging out primarily alone in my office, it was amazing, but it was also a lot.
I think that being excited to hang out with other humans and being overwhelmed and needing frequent breaks from said humans can coexist. Before my talk on the last day of the conference, I hung out with some of the folks who had crept into our conference room early. Why? Because they were done “people-ing”. They needed a safe space to breathe, check their phone, and remove themselves from the fray. There were four of us who kind of bonded over a shared fear of networking, and a desire for more one-on-one conversations.
As we all get back “into the fray” after years of working at home, what can we do to make sure we’re community-ready? Here are a few suggestions:
BUY YOURSELF A “PUMP YOU UP” BEVERAGE
Even if you’re not a PSL person, you can get a morning beverage you love. It isn’t so much the caffeine, as the gesture to yourself that you care about your own well-being. You are worth buying a fancy beverage for. Take a few minutes to quietly sip this on your own, before entering the social arena.
SPEND TIME ASKING AND LISTENING INSTEAD OF TALKING
Some of the anxiety that comes from social situations stems from feeling like you’re going to have to share what is going with you. If you practice asking strong questions and listening to the answers, and then asking follow up questions, you don’t need to be the subject of the conversation, and you’ll have fun learning about the other person.
LEAVE THE SITUATION WHEN YOU CAN
There are natural breaks in events, like meals and special evening events. Nobody will fault you for stepping away during these breaks. If anyone asks, you can gracefully say you have to take a call or attend a meeting. These breaks allow you to throttle your social interactions to the level you are comfortable with.
MAKE AN APPEARANCE
Sometimes you definitely need to attend an event, and you need to be seen at the event. However, that doesn’t mean you need to be actively involved in the event for the whole time! As long as the right people have observed you attending the event, you don’t need to be the life of the party. You can, say, go up to the top level of the boat and enjoy the stars.
If you are someone who struggles with social situations, I hope this gives you a few ideas. And if you’re someone who has never had any of these concerns, party on.
The Success League is a global customer success consulting firm that offers consulting, leadership coaching, as well as comprehensive CSM and CS Leadership Certification training programs. Please visit our website to find out more on these and our other offerings.
Kristen Hayer - Kristen founded The Success League in 2015 and currently serves as the company's CEO. Over the past 25 years Kristen has been a success, sales, and marketing executive, primarily working with growth-stage tech companies, and leading several award-winning customer success teams. She has written over 100 articles on customer success, and is the host of 3 podcasts about the field: Innovations in Leadership, CS Essentials with Gainsight, and Reading for Success. Kristen serves on the boards of the Customer Success Leadership Network, the Customer Success program at the University of San Francisco, and the Women in Leadership Program at UC Santa Barbara. She received her MBA from the University of Washington in Seattle, and now lives in San Francisco.
